Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Fathers Day Quotes: Funny and Inspirational

Best quote: The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother's always a Democrat. - Robert Frost

Father's Day Quotes

He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence Budington Kelland, U.S. Writer

A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society. - Billy Graham, Christian Evangelist

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
- Theodore Hesburgh, Catholic Priest and President Emeritus of the University of Notre Dame

How true Daddy's words were when he said: 'All children must look after their own upbringing.' Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank, German Jew and Holocaust Victim

It is much easier to become a father than to be one. - Kent Nerburn, U.S. Author and Educator

We are given children to test us and make us more spiritual. - George Will, U.S. Journalist


happy fathers day
Happy Father's Day! photo by jwlphotography @ flickr, All Rights Reserved with embed code available



It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. - Pope John XXIII

My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." - Harmon Killebrew

One father is more than a hundred Schoolmasters. - George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640

Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. - Clarence Budington Kelland

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

A king, realizing his incompetence, can either delegate or abdicate his duties. A father can do neither. If only sons could see the paradox... they would understand the dilemma. - Marlene Dietrich

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! - Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836

It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. - Johann Schiller

Until you have a son of your own... you will never know the joy, the love beyond feeling that resonates in the heart of a father as he looks upon his son. You will never know the sense of honor that makes a man want to be more than he is and to pass something good and hopeful into the hands of his son. And you will never know the heartbreak of the fathers who are haunted by the personal demons that keep them from being the men they want their sons to be. - Kent Nerburn

In peace, the sons bury their fathers, but in war, the fathers bury their sons. - Croesus

Small boys become big men through the influence of big men who care about small boys. - Anonymous

When a child, my dreams rode on your wishes, I was your son, high on your horse, my mind a top whipped by the lashes of your rhetoric, windy of course. - Sir Stephen Spender

Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! - Lydia M. Child, U.S. Author

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. - Anonymous (commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found)

Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. - Anonymous







Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. - Gloria Naylor

There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. - John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994

It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. - Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare

I talk and talk and talk, and I haven't taught people in 50 years what my father taught by example in one week. - Gov. Mario Cuomo

Are we not like two volumes of one book? - Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. - Anne Sexton


The greatest gift I ever had
Came from God; I call him Dad!
- Anonymous


Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. - M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter

Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. - Anonymous


There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox


Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. - Dinah Craik

Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. - Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities








Funny Father's Day Quotes

Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. - Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968

To be a successful father, there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right. - Bill Cosby

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. - Bill Cosby

The thing to remember about fathers is... they're men. A girl has to keep it in mind: They are dragon-seekers, bent on improbable rescues. Scratch any father, you find someone chock-full of qualms and romantic terrors, believing change is a threat, like your first shoes with heels on, like your first bicycle... - Phyllis McGinley

Sir Walter, being strangely surprised and put out of his countenance at so great a table, gives his son a damned blow over the face. His son, as rude as he was, would not strike his father, but strikes over the face the gentleman that sat next to him and said, "Box about: twill come to my father anon." - John Aubrey

I've had a hard life, but my hardships are nothing against the hardships that my father went through in order to get me to where I started. - Bartrand Hubbard

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. - Charles Wadsworth

One night a father overheard his son pray: Dear God, Make me the kind of man my Daddy is. Later that night, the Father prayed, Dear God, Make me the kind of man my son wants me to be. - Anonymous

If the relationship of father to son could really be reduced to biology, the whole earth would blaze with the glory of fathers and sons. - James Baldwin

When Charles first saw our child Mary, he said all the proper things for a new father. He looked upon the poor little red thing and blurted, "She's more beautiful than the Brooklyn Bridge." - Helen Hayes

It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. - Phyllis Diller

The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother's always a Democrat. - Robert Frost

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

My father hated radio and he could not wait for television to be invented so that he could hate that too. - Peter De Vries

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. - President Harry S. Truman

Noble fathers have noble children. - Euripides

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards. - Robert Orben

A father carries pictures where his money used to be. - Anonymous



*** More Father's Day posts to enjoy:

Dennys Photo Gallery: Fathers Day

Fathers Day Music: Keith Urban Sings Song For Dad

Christian Music: Fathers Day Song - My Dad by Abel Ullon






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Sunday, May 8, 2011

Funny Pet Quotes


Funny Pet Quotes

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbet

I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward. - G. K. Chesterton

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. - Sigmund Freud

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Anne Landers

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker. - Buddha

I've met many thinkers and many cats, but the wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. - Hippolyte Taine

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Anonymous

The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet

Love the animals: God has given them the rudiments of thought and joy untroubled. - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Every boy should have two things: a dog, and a mother willing to let him have one. - Anonymous

And God took a handful of Southerly wind, blew His breath over it and created the horse. - Bedouin Legend

The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp. - John Berry

A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg. - Samuel Butler

If I have any beliefs about immortality it is that certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very – very - few people. - James Thurber

The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him. - Rudyard Kipling

The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Mahatma Gandhi

The dog was created especially for children. He is the God of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

There is nothing in which the birds differ more from man than the way in which they can build and yet leave a landscape as it was before. - Robert Lynd

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that! - Dave Barry

All of the animals except for man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it. - Samuel Butler

A Horse! A Horse! My kingdom for a horse! - Shakespeare

A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart and wins with his character. - Tesio

To err is human, to purr, feline. - Robert Byrne

To err is human, to forgive, canine. - Anonymous

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives. - Sue Murphy

No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me. - Anonymous

A dog maybe a man's best friend but a horse made history. - Anonymous

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Ben Williams

I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self-contained. I stand and look at them long and long. - Walt Whitman

If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. - James Herriot

I love cats because I enjoy my home; and, little by little, they become its visible soul. - Jean Cocteau

A house is not a home without a pet. - Anonymous

In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. - Warren Eckstein

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers






Dogs have owners; cats have staff. - Anonymous

A canter is the cure for all evil. - Benjamin Disraeli on horses

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. - Anatole France

A dog is the only thing on earth that will love you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings

You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Who can believe that there is no soul behind those luminous eyes! - Theophile Gautier

The purity of a person's heart can be quickly measured by how they regard animals. - Anonymous

We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals. - Immanual Kant

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

If all the beasts were gone, men would die from a great loneliness of spirit, for whatever happens to the beasts also happens to the man. All things are connected. Whatever befalls the Earth befalls the sons of the Earth. - Chief Seattle of the Suquamish Tribe, letter to President Franklin Pierce

There is in all animals a sense of duty that man condescends to call instinct. - Robert Brault

To insult someone we call him "bestial." For deliberate cruelty and nature, "human" might be the greater insult. - Isaac Asimov, Isaac Asimov's Book of Science and Nature Quotations, 1988

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston Churchill

I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me. - Mark Twain, Letters from the Earth, 1907

Be it human or animal, touch is a life-giving thing. Has anyone ever had a stroke or a heart attack while cozied up with a pet? I doubt it. - Robert Brault

I believe in animal rights, and high among them is the right to the gentle stroke of a human hand. - Robert Brault

Most pets display so many human-like traits and emotions it's easy to forget they're not gifted with the English language and then get snubbed when we talk to them and they don't say anything back. - Stephenie Geist

Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet. - Colette

It often happens that a man is more humanely related to a cat or dog than to any human being. - Henry David Thoreau

Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills. - Voltaire, letter to Count Schomberg, 31 August 1769

The kind man feeds his beast before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

Lots of people talk to animals.... Not very many listen, though.... That's the problem. - Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh

Man is rated the highest animal, at least among all animals who returned the questionnaire. - Robert Brault

It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons. - Douglas Adams, The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy

An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. - Martin Buber

You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets. - Nora Ephron

Animals are such agreeable friends. They ask no questions; they pass no criticisms. - George Eliot

Ever consider what pets must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! - Anne Tyler, The Accidental Tourist

No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation. - Fran Lebowitz, writer

Cat Law of Selective Hearing "A cat can hear a mouse yawning a mile away, while filtering out the sound of a pleading human just six feet away. - Anonymous

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. - Anonymous

There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. - Wesley Bates

Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. - Joseph Wood Krutch

A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution. - Hazel Nicholson

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. - Anonymous

You know your cat is getting old when she quits hunting in the back yard. Now she hunts at your dinner table. - Denny Lyon, journalist blogger

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

He doesn’t reckon his dog has human feelings, but he sure lets you know when you hurt his instincts. - Robert Brault

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog. - Ambrose Bierce

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as a dog does. - Christopher Morley

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - President Harry S. Truman

A dog is not intelligent. Never trust an animal that's surprised by its own farts. - Frank Skinner

The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs. Jeanne-Marie Roland

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone. - Lenny Bruce

Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one. - W. C. Fields





*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

*** Come by for a visit and check out my other blogs:

*** Check out Holiday Recipes From Dennys Food and Recipes

Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious And Odd - more crazy humor and weird news
The Social Poets - news, u.s. politics and humor
Dennys Global Politics - world politics, political cartoons
The Soul Calendar - science, astronomy, psychology
Visual Insights - photos, art, music
Dennys Art Sanctuary
Beautiful Illustrated Quotations - spiritual quotes, philosophy
Best Spiritual Posts
Poems From A Spiritual Heart - poetry
The Healing Waters - health news
Dennys People Watching - people in the news
Dennys Food and Recipes
Romancing The Chocolate - fun, sassy, lots of chocolate recipes and more food
Unusual 2 Tasty - different twists on favorite foods and international food
Comfort Food From Louisiana - Land of Seafood and Sweets, Cajun, all kinds of comfort food
Dennys Funny Quotes - humor
Dennys World of Quotes
Dennys Blog Feeds - check out what is posting on all Dennys blogs all at a glance
Dennys: News Politics Comedy Science Arts Food - an online newspaper
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