A someone

A paradox of life; The people we meet are meant to fill the emptiness in our lives yet in reality, they bring greater holes in our hearts when time comes that they have to go. Because of that I sometimes hope I only have myself to be with… Then I wouldn’t have to know short-lived joy and suffer endless pain. But life wouldn’t permit that to happen. Again and again, it allows us to meet people who come to touch our lives and leave us to yearn at the memories they fill.

He came to my life during the times I felt like the world was trying to keep me away from the one thing I truly loved—writing. I was a miserable earthling then, unsure of my dreams, my life, and myself but I was determined to step into the unknown. I wasn’t strong and confident but I was persistent. I wasn’t always a winner but I was unwavering. I wasn’t perfect because I was just a human. And he was there as my guide, never failing me for a moment.

My mornings are always started with early chitchats about everything in life and it was always filled with something new to learn. I would laugh at myself and at my foolishness and he would be there to listen and tell his own tales. I would pour out my emotions and he would express amusement. I was bizarre but it didn’t matter. He always understood. After that, I always feel ready to face yet another battle of life.

Evenings are never complete too when we couldn’t text each other. Never was a time that he wasn’t there when I wanted to cry for missing points in my quizzes. Never was a time that he didn’t rejoice with me when I would boast my perfect marks too. Never was a time that he didn’t answer when I ask about anything I could ever wonder about.

There had been times too that I haven’t been nice to him and he would feel bad. But even at those times, he kept the same attitude. He was always silent of his disappointments but he never kept it to himself. He would talk but only the two of us would know what it is about. And then we would patch up.

There had been moments too that I have been in doubt of his power—I mean his willingness to accept. Times when I asked myself if he could do something else. But he had proven himself over and over again and he even showed me more than I had expected. His love, care and understanding with that I trusted him more.

But then, life is like a journey—everyone comes and goes. People we learn to care for have to leave us to touch more lives, to find better sails and to direct themselves to the easier trails towards their mission in life. We can only be grateful that once, though short it was, they came to touch our lives and made us feel special.

When he bid goodbye, I was all smiles. I guess the reality of the situation hasn’t struck me yet then. But when I think about the things that we used to talk and laughed about, the saddest and happiest emotions that we’ve shared reverberated in my mind. Out came the memories so dear to my heart that in silence, I cried and shed endless tears of sorrow, of emptiness, of another loss.

Yet I know that he didn’t leave me because he wanted to stop my heart from beating, but because he wants to make my heart find its tune. He didn’t go because he cared less but because he wanted me to be strong. He didn’t choose to stay because he knew I would miss him but because he knew I could go on. No, I am not bitter about farewells. After all, it made me realize that we could only be grateful of what life could offer…