Anniversary Quotes

Anniversary Quotes:

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.
~ H.L. Mencken, A Book of Burlesques, 1916

Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day.
~ Gene Perret

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.
~ Paul Sweeney

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.
~ Hoosier Farmer

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly.
~ Peter De Vries

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
~ Author Unknown

Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
~ Author Unknown

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It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
~ Rita Rudner

Marriage, n: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
~ Ambrose Bierce

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character.
~ Peter Devries

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
~ Mignon McLaughlin

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
~ Phyllis Diller, Phyllis Diller's Housekeeping Hints, 1966

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
~ Source Unknown

Infatuation is when you think he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is when you realize that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Connors, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger and nothing like Robert Redford - but you'll take him anyway.
~ Judith Viorst, Redbook, 1975

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.
~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

April Fools Day Quotes

April Fools Day Quotes:

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
~ Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson, 1894

April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
~ Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
~ Chinese Proverb

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee,
And I'll forgive Thy great big one on me.
~ Robert Frost, "Cluster of Faith," 1962

He who is born a fool is never cured.
~ Proverb
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Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
~ Mark Twain

If every fool wore a crown, we should all be kings.
~ Welsh Proverb

I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
~ Jack Handey

We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.
~ Japanese Proverb

You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
~ Abraham Lincoln

Birthday Quotes

Birthday Quotes:

We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.
~ Author Unknown

There is still no cure for the common birthday.
~ John Glenn

A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.
~ Author Unknown

Believing hear, what you deserve to hear:
Your birthday as my own to me is dear...
But yours gives most; for mine did only lend
Me to the world; yours gave to me a friend.
~ Martial

Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.
~ Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
~ Chili Davis

Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.
~ Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
~ Sam Ewing

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.
~ George Bernard Shaw

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.
~ Jerry M. Wright

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.
~ Mark Twain

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.
~ Author Unknown

They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.
~ Author Unknown